Monday, 16 April 2012
Another reflux post
I often wonder what I could have possibly done differently when I was pregnant... I think about what could have caused this horrible disease in my baby. I wish that things were different, that he didn't go through the pain of reflux. I know that if he didn't have reflux we would both sleep so much better... I have days where I don't really like my beautiful son, I love him, but I don't like him. Going out was always an anxious time for me... I had a really hard time leaving the house, and every time I did Jakob would cry all the way to town and all the way back... hated the car seat, and would throw up all over himself. I found that I needed to take 5 changes of clothing and 5 receiving blankets with me for a 2 hour outing... I had an average of three loads of laundry to do every day... half of it would be my clothing that he threw up all over, the other half would be his own clothing and receiving blankets.
A good day for us is having maybe 3-5 hours sleep... and I only have to have him in my arms or on my hip 75% of the time. Laying my son down for tummy time just simply didn't and does not happen, or at least not often. laying him down means that the digestive acids in his stomach as well as anything he may have eaten will be coming up his throat. I have had many people recommend things to me to help his reflux, I have also cut out a lot of foods in my diet that cause his reflux to act up. The first idea was "switch him to formula, its thicker and will help him sleep better" .... uh what?! There are a few problems with this suggestion, first of all, formula takes longer to digest, it will not sit in a tummy that has a wide open valve, and seeing as how it will take longer to digest that means longer periods of time where he is choking and gagging on it...secondly, formula is full of chemicals and sugars the baby cannot use, and can potentially cause not only more digestive upset, and colic, but allergies, and increase babies risk of childhood cancers. Another recommendation was Avacado... Avacado can be mashed and fed straight to baby, no cooking required, plus it has live enzymes that help the tummy to digest it, it also being a heavier food does not reflux back up as easily... I recommend Avacado now as well... for not only just this reason, but if you really feel the need to give baby solids in hopes it will help, its also full of good fats, good sugars, and Tons of nutritional value!
There is nothing quite like the pain a mother feels emotionally, not being able to kiss the boo boo and make it better... the anticipation of the horrible nights haunt me through the day... the non stop questions I ask myself... "is it going to be like last night? will I get two or three hours sleep? or is it going to be like last week.. where I had to doze in and out of sleep periodically having to change position because my baby keeps choking?" Sometimes the anxiety is so bad I cannot even fall asleep... I end up laying awake all night. My partner and I were really looking forward to co-sleeping with our little man. That just doesn't happen... Jakob cannot sleep on a flat surface, or his reflux will keep us all up all night. Before we knew he had reflux there were several times where he had woke me up by thrashing in his sleep, he couldn't breath and was choking on his own vomit that had come out his nose and mouth as well. He also has a constant stuffy nose, this is due to the stomach acids backing right up and into his nose, injuring sensitive membranes. We currently have him in a bassinet that I have set up especially for him, so he is always on an elevated surface to sleep on. During the day my baby boy naps on me or in his car seat....most of the time on me though.
A very short while ago we tried medication, Rinitidine, basically its baby Zantac... for heartburn, we had him on it for several days. This stuff tastes like earwax and mint, not a great combo, in fact anything mixed with earwax tastes pretty aweful. The medication definatly did not help, in fact his reflux flare ups increased and became more severe, causing him to develop Sandifers syndrome... which is a reflux pain related seizure, sandifers syndrome will stop when reflux stops... We stopped giving him medication about 5 days after we started it, the first night was rough but not as rough as it had been on the medication, but the Sandifers continued, and let me tell you, there is nothing quite more terrifying than hanging onto your baby for dear life while he thrashes in your arms uncontrollably. Night 2 without medication was a bit better... he woke 4 times and only two of the four times did he thrash. Night three was pretty awesome off medication, he woke up after sleeping a solid 4 hours, nursed for five minutes ... thrashed off and on for 20 minutes... then he was out for another two hours.... was up at 4am, nursed, thrashed off and on for 10 minutes than was out until 6 am.
I have to take every day, one day at a time, just because we have a few good days doesn't mean we will have another good day (or night)... as a breastfeeding mama I found I had to change my diet drastically... any acidic foods or juices can cause baby's reflux to flare up. Tomatoes are our number 1 worse food, anything with tomato sauce can cause major issues... it only takes 1 tsp of tomato sauce to cause my boy to vomit all day and night... so... No pizza, lasagna, or pasta. I really cannot have any chocolate, but if my sweet tooth is really bad I have maybe five chocolate covered blueberries at most. I cannot drink apple juice or orange juice, those cause reflux to get really bad as well, I haven't tried any other juices, most have citrus fruits in them. Wheat is no longer a part of my diet, I am not sure why but it definatly triggers my little mans reflux. Basically, anything you should stay away from that can cause gas, will cause reflux to rear its ugly head in an infant. I find that having plenty veggies to snack on during the day is good. I dont eat any processed foods of any kind but I know those can cause reflux to act up as well... safe snacks are carrots, celery, yellow or red peppers, pears, avacado, breast meat from chicken or turkey, and cereal (with coconut milk or almond milk). Avoid any dairy products if you can... at most have a small amount of yogurt for the probiotics (3tbsp at most). Of course as it has only been 6 months of reflux, I am sure my lists will grow.
Countless nights have I sat up all night holding my baby vertically so he could sleep, the back pain and migraines that came with it were almost too much to bear. It wasn't until I noticed a direct correlation between foods I was eating and how bad his reflux was that I started leaving foods out of my diet.I have also noticed that when he goes through any major developmental stages he has flare ups as well. We still have many bad nights, and I have accepted that we won't sleep through the night for a long time yet, but I have hopes that he will get through this in the next few months. I am starting to enjoy having my baby finally, but it has been a long hard road.
I am currently debating as to wether or not I will attempt another medication with Jakob. Medications make me nervous, almost as nervous as vaccinations. Mainly because of my immune system strangeness, and random allergies that pop up. There is a possibility that I will take Jakob for further testing, but I don't feel it is really needed considering he has all the signs and symptoms of reflux other than weight loss... hes a chunker... a big chunker.... and typically babies with reflux fail to thrive. Jakob eats when his reflux is bad, then throws up, then eats more, its a viscous cycle. The sucking and swallowing action of nursing actually relieves the pain from the reflux and as long as he is nursing the food stays down... but this in the end causes his reflux to become that much worse because he has over filled his fat little tummy.
I am happy to say with all my dietary changes it has helped to reduce the amount of reflux issues we have, without medications. He has not lost his voice in a few weeks now, which makes me very happy. Yes he has lost his voice, for several days at a time he wouldn't baby babble because it was obviously painful for him. The stomach acids burned his vocal cords and throat so much he has even had a hard time swallowing and has cried while nursing because it hurts. I get some free hands during the day now that Jakob is sitting up on his own, he throws up less now because of that very same reason. I will be trying some natural products that are out there on the market this week... I will make sure to edit this particular post with the names of said products and results of using them.
I heard of a book called *Welcome to Holland* ... Have you? It's about raising a child with disability.. although reflux is not technically a handicap, it is at the same time.
by
Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Being a mumma with a reflux baby
GERD
If you don't know the meaning of this word... it is time to learn. GERD, or simply *reflux* is probably one of the most difficult parts of raising a baby. I never had reflux baby until now. My first three babies were lovely sleepers, only waking in the middle of the night twice until they were about 4 months old and then were sleeping through the night.
My journey with Jakob has been a terribly bumpy road, although it started as any other road would, smooth and euphoric. At about 4 weeks old I started noticing how, different he was and how much he needed me... always wanting to be held, and did NOT want to lay down even for a nap. There were several days where he slept 20 minutes every 4 hours and made sure I only slept 20 minutes every four hours as well. When I realized something was wrong was when he woke me in the night choking and thrashing... he could not breath and if I hadn't been co-sleeping with him I would have slept through it and he would not be here with us today. The day after he had woken me up thrashing, he had an unusual amount of spit up, he spat up about twice after every single feeding, with or without burps.
At 6 weeks JD threw up with every single feeding, and at least twice between feedings. I found myself doing about three loads of laundry per day of just me and JD's clothing and receiving blankets. He would wake up at least 3 times at night choking, and screaming. There had been several days where he had almost lost his voice. Our evenings were chalked full of frustration, Jakob screaming, and taking turns walking him around the house.
At 12 weeks we finally took Jakob into the doctor. Ah, this is when my fears were confirmed... Jakob has Gastro-Esophageal Reflux Disease... Otherwise known as GERD. Now that I knew what he had, maybe there was a home something or other I could do to help him. I refuse to medicate unless all other avenues have been tried.
Trial and error my friends... I started giving him fennel and dill seed tea... just a little bit... it did help but not a whole lot. It got all his burps and farts out so he was a little more comfortable... but it seems that the larger he gets, the worse the reflux. Once he hit about four months old I started giving him a little bit of solids... just a little... to see if it would help. It really did for a few weeks... Avacado is a wonderful first food by the way, it has good fats in it... unlike anything else you might find... a human being can survive off of avacado's entirely... so I know I am not giving him empty calories, and he sleeps for about four hours. But, as he gets older and bigger and requires more food the reflux gets worse.
As a breastfeeding mother, I have had to change my diet drastically for the sake of my sons reflux. this is a small list of foods that I cannot have for as long as I am breastfeeding.
- eggs
-tomatoes or tomato sauce
-processed foods of any kind
-fried foods
-more than 1 glass of orange juice
-cheese
-dairy
-beans
-wheat
-chocolate
This is just the beginning. these are the foods I have noticed trigger his reflux after I eat them.... now he has reflux all the time, but when I eat these foods he becomes a puking machine. Neither he or I get enough sleep at all. We can be up 3-20 times in a night and sometimes we both just give up on sleeping. Countless nights on the couch dozing propped up with him on my chest have taught me to avoid so many different foods. Now I have to check the ingredients on everything that goes into my body.
Recently my partner and I have decided to give our little man medication (we are both anti-med). The medication does not seem to be helping, we are on night four of his screaming fits. By screaming fit I mean his eyes are still closed and he is thrashing in his sleep screaming. This will happen for about a half hour after every single time he eats, and I think it causes me just as much pain as it does for him, but my pain is emotional because I cannot make it better for him. I have had many people suggest putting him on formula, but there are three problems with that, first of all, he wont take a bottle, secondly, formula although it might work for other people... it's shite.... and third I do NOT want to lose the bond that only breastfeeding can provide. From what I understand, formula is actually the very last thing you want to give a reflux baby, it stays in their system longer, and its harder to digest, meaning its in babies tummy longer which means worse reflux issues for longer periods of time. I realize solids might do the exact same thing but solids sit in the stomach... they dont tend to come up like a fluid does.
-Apr 11/12
We took JD off the meds. they do not seem to be helping him at all, and both me and my partner feel better for it. As I stated before we do not like medicating. Tomorrow we will be picking up papaya enzymes, and we will be mixing that with fennel seed tea and his solid foods. Hopefully we can see a difference with these changes.
-Apr 15/12
A sudden and harsh realization has hit me today as I was doing some research on home remedies for treating reflux... earlier in my post I stated that my son thrashes at night... this is only partially true... his back and neck arch and stiffen jerkily and he screams a blood curdling scream... this is actually Sandifers syndrome... they are seizures related to GERD... still doing more research.
If you don't know the meaning of this word... it is time to learn. GERD, or simply *reflux* is probably one of the most difficult parts of raising a baby. I never had reflux baby until now. My first three babies were lovely sleepers, only waking in the middle of the night twice until they were about 4 months old and then were sleeping through the night.
My journey with Jakob has been a terribly bumpy road, although it started as any other road would, smooth and euphoric. At about 4 weeks old I started noticing how, different he was and how much he needed me... always wanting to be held, and did NOT want to lay down even for a nap. There were several days where he slept 20 minutes every 4 hours and made sure I only slept 20 minutes every four hours as well. When I realized something was wrong was when he woke me in the night choking and thrashing... he could not breath and if I hadn't been co-sleeping with him I would have slept through it and he would not be here with us today. The day after he had woken me up thrashing, he had an unusual amount of spit up, he spat up about twice after every single feeding, with or without burps.
At 6 weeks JD threw up with every single feeding, and at least twice between feedings. I found myself doing about three loads of laundry per day of just me and JD's clothing and receiving blankets. He would wake up at least 3 times at night choking, and screaming. There had been several days where he had almost lost his voice. Our evenings were chalked full of frustration, Jakob screaming, and taking turns walking him around the house.
At 12 weeks we finally took Jakob into the doctor. Ah, this is when my fears were confirmed... Jakob has Gastro-Esophageal Reflux Disease... Otherwise known as GERD. Now that I knew what he had, maybe there was a home something or other I could do to help him. I refuse to medicate unless all other avenues have been tried.
Trial and error my friends... I started giving him fennel and dill seed tea... just a little bit... it did help but not a whole lot. It got all his burps and farts out so he was a little more comfortable... but it seems that the larger he gets, the worse the reflux. Once he hit about four months old I started giving him a little bit of solids... just a little... to see if it would help. It really did for a few weeks... Avacado is a wonderful first food by the way, it has good fats in it... unlike anything else you might find... a human being can survive off of avacado's entirely... so I know I am not giving him empty calories, and he sleeps for about four hours. But, as he gets older and bigger and requires more food the reflux gets worse.
As a breastfeeding mother, I have had to change my diet drastically for the sake of my sons reflux. this is a small list of foods that I cannot have for as long as I am breastfeeding.
- eggs
-tomatoes or tomato sauce
-processed foods of any kind
-fried foods
-more than 1 glass of orange juice
-cheese
-dairy
-beans
-wheat
-chocolate
This is just the beginning. these are the foods I have noticed trigger his reflux after I eat them.... now he has reflux all the time, but when I eat these foods he becomes a puking machine. Neither he or I get enough sleep at all. We can be up 3-20 times in a night and sometimes we both just give up on sleeping. Countless nights on the couch dozing propped up with him on my chest have taught me to avoid so many different foods. Now I have to check the ingredients on everything that goes into my body.
Recently my partner and I have decided to give our little man medication (we are both anti-med). The medication does not seem to be helping, we are on night four of his screaming fits. By screaming fit I mean his eyes are still closed and he is thrashing in his sleep screaming. This will happen for about a half hour after every single time he eats, and I think it causes me just as much pain as it does for him, but my pain is emotional because I cannot make it better for him. I have had many people suggest putting him on formula, but there are three problems with that, first of all, he wont take a bottle, secondly, formula although it might work for other people... it's shite.... and third I do NOT want to lose the bond that only breastfeeding can provide. From what I understand, formula is actually the very last thing you want to give a reflux baby, it stays in their system longer, and its harder to digest, meaning its in babies tummy longer which means worse reflux issues for longer periods of time. I realize solids might do the exact same thing but solids sit in the stomach... they dont tend to come up like a fluid does.
-Apr 11/12
We took JD off the meds. they do not seem to be helping him at all, and both me and my partner feel better for it. As I stated before we do not like medicating. Tomorrow we will be picking up papaya enzymes, and we will be mixing that with fennel seed tea and his solid foods. Hopefully we can see a difference with these changes.
-Apr 15/12
A sudden and harsh realization has hit me today as I was doing some research on home remedies for treating reflux... earlier in my post I stated that my son thrashes at night... this is only partially true... his back and neck arch and stiffen jerkily and he screams a blood curdling scream... this is actually Sandifers syndrome... they are seizures related to GERD... still doing more research.
Saturday, 7 April 2012
Sunday, 1 April 2012
The art of *going out* kidless
Every mommy deserves a night out now and again, even if you and your spouse cannot really afford it. You fantasize for months about going out for a night, having a few drinks, and then baby arrives and the sudden realization that you don't want anyone taking care of our baby but you sets in. NOBODY can take care of your baby the way you do, they just don't know what they are doing! After what feels like years of lack of sleep, your constant tiredness gets the better of you. That's it! the second baby is asleep I'm going out and leaving baby with a family member/close friend, of course someone you trust. This is my first time going out experience since having my little JD.
So, last night me and my partner had the chance to go out. One of my best friends came in for work from out of town, and she is one of the only three people I would trust to take care of Jakob. Friday night was part of our original plan but Jakob had a super refluxy night thursday night and we were both ready for bed by 9pm. Last night before JD was asleep, I had a shower, did my hair up and used my favorite flower clips, they are big and bold and brightly colored. I put on my new tights, and my super short tight dress. Oooo yes... and I made sure to wear my new, designer heels, something I never do outside of the house. I think I was looking pretty dynamite. I did not bother with make-up as my honey likes me all natural.
I got JD down at 8:15 pm... our reservations were for 9pm, PERFECT! This was my chance. As I gave Cyndi the run down and made sure to have my cell phone on me 10 times and put my jacket and shoes on... and then JD started crying. I rush to the bedroom and scoop the little fart out of his bassinet. He calmed down pretty quick, I tried to put him back down, that was a NO GO. I swear, babies always know when mommies and daddies are gonna go out and have fun. JD seemed to be uncomfortable, maybe even in pain. I checked his diaper, and removed the extra liner I put in for over night (we use cloth diapers) and shifted the diaper around a bit. I did up his sleeper and snuggled him close, he was still uncomfortable, his little cheeks were rosie, and he felt a little bit warm. Dan (my partner) came in and gave me the infant tylenol. Now if any of you know me I hate medication, I hate medicating the baby especially, but he was very uncomfortable, he has been *toying* with the idea of getting teeth, again (he got a tooth over christmas and then it went back down). By this point it was 8:45... and this was very not like JD to wake up so shortly after falling asleep.
After getting JD back to sleep, I gently placed him in his bassinet and quietly snuck out of the room. We through on our jackets and headed out.. "make sure to call me if he wakes up! He's starting to play stranger and probably wont calm down for you, and if he starts crying its almost impossible to get him to stop!". Cyndi knows the routine, she is a mommy too, I didn't really need to tell her that but I did need to tell her, it's what us mommies do.
Dan and I raced out the door, climbed into the truck and headed out. I held my phone the entire drive, staring at it and waiting for a call. Might I add the entire time we were in sight of the house I stared at every single window to see if Cyndi was headed down the hall to cuddle my now screaming baby? yeah, I totally did, until the house was no longer in view.
As we arrived at the restaurant I texted Cyndi.. "You know, if you feel like it, feel free to check on JD and make sure he is still breathing and hasn't choked or anything"... her response "He's fine, enjoy your night out with your man! stop texting!"... *sigh*
We ordered our drinks, I checked my phone, we discussed what to have as an appetizer and what to have for dinner, all the while I checked my phone. We ordered our dinner, and talked like grown ups, as I kept checking my phone. We talked about the kids, about moving, about work benches (Dan carves and is very talented I might add) and I kept checking my phone. By the time we were done our appetizer I think I checked my phone at least 60 times or more... it was in front of me the entire time its not like it could have rang without me noticing but that didn't stop me from checking...
Cyndi had not texted or called, what if he stopped breathing? What if he rolled over and was suffocating? What if he refluxed and was choking?!?!?!?!
Dinner was served, it was awesome, ginger beef and prawns with red peppers, served on thick noodles with foccacia bread. TO DIE FOR! Between bites, I checked my phone, what if my phone was disconnected? I paid the bill didn't I? is it on? why haven't I gotten a text message or a phone call?
We were done eating at exactly 10:16 on the dot... yes I know this because I checked my stupid phone. And we were ready to head out. We got our bill and honestly as nice as it was to get out with no kids at all, I was practically racing out the door, I just couldn't wait to get home and see my baby.
We got home at 10:36 pm... I raced in the door... and as I entered and took my jacket off my very tired best friend Cyndi informed me that she checked on JD every 15 minutes and he was fine... I knew she would, shes a momma bear too... I knew I didn't have a reason to worry... but it is what I do... I'm a momma bear!!!
I loved my night out, it was fantastic, maybe next time I wont be so distracted with worry. I love that my Dan appreciates how protective I am, even enjoys it at times. Don't worry mama's... all of us have the baby crazies, especially on our first night out... this is how the human race has survived. Mommies carry the pleasures and the burden of our adorable responsibilities.
So, last night me and my partner had the chance to go out. One of my best friends came in for work from out of town, and she is one of the only three people I would trust to take care of Jakob. Friday night was part of our original plan but Jakob had a super refluxy night thursday night and we were both ready for bed by 9pm. Last night before JD was asleep, I had a shower, did my hair up and used my favorite flower clips, they are big and bold and brightly colored. I put on my new tights, and my super short tight dress. Oooo yes... and I made sure to wear my new, designer heels, something I never do outside of the house. I think I was looking pretty dynamite. I did not bother with make-up as my honey likes me all natural.
I got JD down at 8:15 pm... our reservations were for 9pm, PERFECT! This was my chance. As I gave Cyndi the run down and made sure to have my cell phone on me 10 times and put my jacket and shoes on... and then JD started crying. I rush to the bedroom and scoop the little fart out of his bassinet. He calmed down pretty quick, I tried to put him back down, that was a NO GO. I swear, babies always know when mommies and daddies are gonna go out and have fun. JD seemed to be uncomfortable, maybe even in pain. I checked his diaper, and removed the extra liner I put in for over night (we use cloth diapers) and shifted the diaper around a bit. I did up his sleeper and snuggled him close, he was still uncomfortable, his little cheeks were rosie, and he felt a little bit warm. Dan (my partner) came in and gave me the infant tylenol. Now if any of you know me I hate medication, I hate medicating the baby especially, but he was very uncomfortable, he has been *toying* with the idea of getting teeth, again (he got a tooth over christmas and then it went back down). By this point it was 8:45... and this was very not like JD to wake up so shortly after falling asleep.
After getting JD back to sleep, I gently placed him in his bassinet and quietly snuck out of the room. We through on our jackets and headed out.. "make sure to call me if he wakes up! He's starting to play stranger and probably wont calm down for you, and if he starts crying its almost impossible to get him to stop!". Cyndi knows the routine, she is a mommy too, I didn't really need to tell her that but I did need to tell her, it's what us mommies do.
Dan and I raced out the door, climbed into the truck and headed out. I held my phone the entire drive, staring at it and waiting for a call. Might I add the entire time we were in sight of the house I stared at every single window to see if Cyndi was headed down the hall to cuddle my now screaming baby? yeah, I totally did, until the house was no longer in view.
As we arrived at the restaurant I texted Cyndi.. "You know, if you feel like it, feel free to check on JD and make sure he is still breathing and hasn't choked or anything"... her response "He's fine, enjoy your night out with your man! stop texting!"... *sigh*
We ordered our drinks, I checked my phone, we discussed what to have as an appetizer and what to have for dinner, all the while I checked my phone. We ordered our dinner, and talked like grown ups, as I kept checking my phone. We talked about the kids, about moving, about work benches (Dan carves and is very talented I might add) and I kept checking my phone. By the time we were done our appetizer I think I checked my phone at least 60 times or more... it was in front of me the entire time its not like it could have rang without me noticing but that didn't stop me from checking...
Cyndi had not texted or called, what if he stopped breathing? What if he rolled over and was suffocating? What if he refluxed and was choking?!?!?!?!
Dinner was served, it was awesome, ginger beef and prawns with red peppers, served on thick noodles with foccacia bread. TO DIE FOR! Between bites, I checked my phone, what if my phone was disconnected? I paid the bill didn't I? is it on? why haven't I gotten a text message or a phone call?
We were done eating at exactly 10:16 on the dot... yes I know this because I checked my stupid phone. And we were ready to head out. We got our bill and honestly as nice as it was to get out with no kids at all, I was practically racing out the door, I just couldn't wait to get home and see my baby.
We got home at 10:36 pm... I raced in the door... and as I entered and took my jacket off my very tired best friend Cyndi informed me that she checked on JD every 15 minutes and he was fine... I knew she would, shes a momma bear too... I knew I didn't have a reason to worry... but it is what I do... I'm a momma bear!!!
I loved my night out, it was fantastic, maybe next time I wont be so distracted with worry. I love that my Dan appreciates how protective I am, even enjoys it at times. Don't worry mama's... all of us have the baby crazies, especially on our first night out... this is how the human race has survived. Mommies carry the pleasures and the burden of our adorable responsibilities.
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