Sleep baby Sleep!

  There is so much controversy around sleep training, co-sleeping, and letting a baby cry it out that some new mommies heads are spinning with all the different advice they are given... I'd like to state right here and now... I don't agree with letting a baby cry it out... sometimes the transition from wakefulness to sleep is dizzying and un-nerving even to adults, and I have no doubt that it can be so for babies as well.

  I have done a lot of research and reading on parenting, sleeping, eating etc... not just on the internet, I have many books as well... I find that the best way to help your baby sleep, is to follow your instincts... if it doesn't feel right letting your baby cry... DON'T DO IT!!!

  I am a co-sleeping supporter... given the right conditions of course... Don't co-sleep with your baby if you and your partner are heavy sleepers, if you have had a few drinks, or you or your partner toss and turn a lot at night or you are taking any sort of drug or medication like anti-depressants or sleep aids... this will cause not only sleep issues in your child, but you run the risk of smothering him or her in your sleep unintentionally. Also another cause for suffocation (and actually one of the most common) is baby getting stuck between headboard and mattress, I blame this on a soft mattress, or the bed is put together wrong etc... soft mattress = bad mojo...

   Tips on SAFE co-sleeping (nothing and I mean NOTHING is 100% safe) 1) avoid a lot of pillows, just one for you, and one for your partner, baby does not need one (2) do not take medications or drugs/alcohol before going to bed with your baby, these things inhibit your ability to respond and can desensitize you to where your baby is in the family bed. (3) Stiff mattress only! soft bedding can not only cause baby to suffocate but if you roll over onto him you may only just squish him into the padding rather than feel him right there with you... a hard mattress is a good mattress! (4) avoid co-sleeping with other children, baby gets squished easy and all those extra limbs can prove a danger to baby.

ABOVE ALL ELSE DO RESEARCH ON EVERYTHING BEFORE TRYING IT WITH BABY!

  I have a few friends that have done the cry it out method, I even did it with my first born... I didn't want to do it with my first born, I did not feel right allowing her to cry herself to sleep when I was perfectly happy rocking her to sleep every night... but my ex pushed and pushed because its what one of his friends told us to do, he even went as far as sitting on me so that I did not run to my daughter to comfort her... I was heart broken. I find that now she has attachment issues, has a hard time developing relationships with peers and has distrust of most adults in her life.

   with my second and third born babies, at about 7-9 months of age I would rock them to sleep and put them in their bed (mattress on the floor) ... they would wake after a few hours of sleep and I would bring them back to bed with me for the remainder of the night.. by the time they were 10 months of age I would rock them to sleep, put them in their beds and they would wake around 5am to come and snuggle with me in the morning... at a year of age I would rock them until they were just falling asleep, put them in their cribs and they would just look at me as I sat by their bed and either rubbed their backs or laid with them until they were entirely asleep.... there was no crying, no heart ache, and no emotional attachment issues whatsoever.

   At the moment I have a 7 month old who sleeps with me every night, I put him in his bassinet beside the bed usually for the most part of the night, he will wake to nurse and sometimes I am with it enough to put him back in his bassinet afterwards, but usually its just easier and nicer to bring him to bed with me... he often wakes 2-5 times during the night, this is not because of how we sleep, this is because of his GERD. As his reflux subsides he sleeps longer and heavier... it's taking a lot of time and patience though.

   I would like to say that of course anything that works for you and your family is great... I support the choices you make for YOUR family and children... but I do not believe that is the only way, and I expect the same respect and support in turn. That being said, there is now new scientific evidence that provides information on the effects of the CIO method proving how it negatively affects your childs FUTURE (future meaning adulthood, so please keep your *my baby is fine* comments to yourself until your child is 25-30 years of age and shows symptoms of emotional instability) abilities to develop healthy relationships, and healthy attachments. This does not just effect abilities of course, this has a lot to do with brain development... although CIO does not cause brain damage, it actually impedes brain development!!! Certain nerves and cells in the brain grow when a child is nurtured and comforted when they cry... when left to their own with no comfort, no nurturing, these nerves and cells break down and redirect, thus distrust and emotional instability can and more likely will develop.

  There are other types of sleep training of course, you don't have to allow your baby to cry and cry until he or she passes out, (they pass out from being emotionally distraught, not tiredness). But please be aware that most *sleep training* requires you to go against your own grains of what feels right and doesn't feel right... you can easily become desensitized  to your babies needs, and your baby can become desensitized to everything around him and withdraw.  Most sleep training methods only teach you one thing, how to ignore your baby's calls for comfort and help, and they teach your baby one thing, nobody will come when you need comfort or help.

  If your current daytime/night time routine is not working for you, it is quite possible that you need to sit down and write out what your bedtime goal is... if you want baby to fall asleep by a certain time, have a routine... for example: Dinner time 7pm, bath time 7:30pm, bed time 8pm... do this every day so it is predictable... baby's love this type of security, they know what happens next and will eventually fall into a better sleep pattern, once baby is comfortable going to sleep at 8pm, start laying him down and staying close at that time he will no doubt be in the routine enough that he will eventually (it could take weeks or a month even) to fall asleep on his own without crying and without you learning to ignore him. he knows this time is bed time, and he has been preparing for it since dinner time!!!

  Routine routine routine ladies... and gents. This is ultimately my goal with my youngest, as I had a wonderful routine with my two middle children, I hope to have the same routine with my little man. That being said I hope that his GERD is gone soon so that I can establish a good solid routine with him.

  No single approach will work with all babies, all the time... Or with one baby all the time, DON'T persist with a failing sleep program if it is NOT working with you and your baby.

a good read below...

  http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting

Raising creative intuitive children

 Olivia... Invented by shakespeare for his Play "Twelfth night" Olivia was either meant to be the female form of 'Oliver' or derived from the word 'Olive' which is a symbol of peace.

 Olivia as a baby never cried... never got herself worked up... and would not wake me at niht for feedings.. I just 'knew' when to wake up and feed her. Until she was 9 months old she never made a sound. At 9 months she had a surgery on her ear, and didn't like the doctor, she finally cried that day... and so did I.

  By the age of three years I knew she was vastly different than other children her age. She had no interest in socializing with other children... and was happy to play on her own or hang with the grown ups. She said and understood things most children couldn't at such a young age. There was one morning (about 5am) I woke to a knock at the door... a strange woman was standing on my doorstep with little Olivia, who had decided around 4am to take the dog for a walk down the highway... in her panties and gum boots in the snow! This is when we decided we needed a lock on the very top of the door, because the bolt we had she could reach when using a chair and the flour bin!!!

  At 5 years of age I hesitantly put Olivia in kindergarten... I was worried she would not do so well... I was correct... the first few days were okay. After the first two weeks Olivia was showing signs of stress, when I went to inform the teacher I discovered a substitute in her place... I told the sub, and left her to it. An hour later I received a phone call... Olivia had a fit... threw herself on the floor and was banging her head repeatedly... I had to come get her because every time someone tried to console her she acted out more.  This is when we discovered she was easily overwhelmed in social settings, any physical touch could set her off... a TA touched her shoulder when telling her how well she did and it sent her into a frenzy. It took several days to calm her down

  A few days after this incident I was contacted by ministry of children and family's, they were suspecting abuse of course because children *don't normally act that way* ... well ministry came and went... they saw my home... the way we lived, and how my children are with me... they saw no reason to interfere again. I of course was offended by the fact that someone suspected me but I let it roll off my back. I knew I was doing the best I could with my children.

  Several weeks later I received yet another phone call from the ministry, and a visit of course... Olivia had been jumping on the couch while I was making dinner, and just as I had finished telling her not to she ended up jumping over the back of the couch and face planting into the boot rack... Apparently because I did not tell her teacher why she had a  bruise on her forehead it must be because I was beating her... just to add to this... NOBODY ASKED WHAT HAPPENED!

  I gave up and pulled her out of school. I told the teacher she was one of the worse kindergarten teachers I had ever met. I realize she was just doing her job... and was looking out for the children... but my daughter was very obviously different than the rest of them, and if she wasn't willing to hear me out than why bother having her in that class?

  School has always been a challenge with my very creative, and very different second born child. She has learned to manipulate people to get what she wants. Throwing fits in class so she gets special one on one *art time* in a quiet room away from the other kids is ultimately her goal... as well as turning on the water works at lunch time and claiming she has nothing to eat so she gets an extra granola bar... and obviously NOT eating her sandwich or apple. (I am happy to say after 4 years the teachers are finally listening to me)... all this being said... she is a brilliant little person with so much love and creativity just pouring out of her.

  It did not take long for me to know exactly how different she was... when she finally *settled* into school (still needing out of class time to bring herself down) I had a meeting with the TEAM of teachers and therepists helping her... they all had different ideas on what Olivia is like... I spoke up finally after an hour of listening to them go on and on about ADHD and ADD... she is neither of those. "have ANY of you noticed she uses both right and left hands when shes coloring or writing?" ... all the teachers went silent... one of them finally spoke up and said "not only is she ambidextrous physically but I think she is ambidextrous mentally as well.. she can follow what is going on in the class room AND still be learning what the teacher is teaching" .... finally someone had noticed my childs gift.

  Olivia is a cuddly, gentle, and sensitive little person... and by little I mean up until last year she was easily mistaken for being only 5 or 6 years old when in fact she is turning 11!! Her vocabulary is at a grade 9 level... and her understanding of things is easily above many adults I know. When she is not sure of a persons name she makes up a name and continues to call them that name until she sees fit to call them by their own name... Take Fergus for example, my sisters boyfriend. Olivia had forgotten his name... so she started calling him *Oakster* ... I have no idea where this name came from... but she still calls him that to this day... when you say *Fergus* she says *oh you mean Oakster*. Not only that but if you ask her what she would do if she were stranded on an island with no food she would reply with "I'd start cannibalizing, I think I would eat the people I don't like first"... strange and wonderful little girl...

Olivia showing the camera some *dead carcass hair*

  I think it was hard for my partner to ease carefully into being a part of our family, but Olivia sure loved him right off the bat. She is not shy to share her feelings with people... she made sure to snuggle him when he was on the couch... and she tells him that she loves him almost every day. I don't know how this story will unfold with Olivia... but I am sure it will be a colorful and interesting one at the very least.

 

MADATA- Moms And Dads Against Teen Angst

  After reading a friends facebook status on how to make a school morning enjoyable for children I couldn't resist...
 
  My idea of an enjoyable school morning is as follows...
1) Walk into the bedroom of the usually grumpiest (teenager) kids room blasting 60's music while disco dancing /jumping on their bed and yelling "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!"

2) when cereal is grumpily being poured into bowls proceed to either
   a) chase child around the room ass first threatening to fart on them or
   b) Try to do the *mommy breakdance* while making strange faces

 Note* Teenager will raise one eyebrow and either call you weird or say something like
 "oh my god you are so embarrassing"
- Oh my god you are so embarrassing = I really want you to do this when my friends are over visiting
- When you get a headshake you KNOW your doing it right!

 3) When they start complaining about there being *nothing to eat*... offer them some farts... proceed to chase around the room screaming their names while moving your butt cheeks so it looks like your butt is talking!

4) Always approach teen caring and lovingly when you are particularly gassy.... grab teen and fart... say "just relax and accept it" while patting them on the head over and over..

5) When friends are over make sure to say random things that make no sense... they will then hang out quietly away from you.

6) When teen looks miserable (more than usual) ask "why so glum chumdiddlyumdumbumflumbiddledeedoo?" - this will confuse them and they might crack a smile... or you will at least get a raised eyebrow.

7) "you are horrible I hate you, you never let me do anything!!!" = you are doing a good job mom (dad) I love you so much!

8) when teen complains about siblings getting all the attention... jump on teen, kiss them all over their face and yell "YOU TASTE SO GOOD I LOVE YOU I SHOULD HAVE COOKED AND EATEN YOU LIKE I DID WITH YOUR OLDER BROTHER!!!!"  - this will raise questions, opening them up for one on one conversation and bonding time.

This is the "mom... I love you" look.

Moving! UHG!!!

  So after knowing we had to be moved we found a place that was just about the right size for us. As moving day drew closer and more and more things were packed... Baby Jakob decided I might disappear with all of our belongings...

  There is NO easy way to move with a 6 month old baby who is extremely aware of his surroundings. Packing up the belongings of 6 people and 3 dogs in the house is no easy task for anyone, nor is keeping everything organized from beginning to end... and all with one hand. That's right... ONE hand... Jakob decided that I was obviously going to disappear along with everything that was going into boxes so I was not allowed to put him down for any reason at all...

 Jakob decided that I was obviously going to disapear along with everything that was going into boxes so I was not allowed to put him down for any reason at all... And then I got the brilliant idea of tossing him into a box... this seemed to be okay so long as I was in sight the entire time. Of course this means its only actually okay after the formal taste test...

 
 Once being in a box was okay and he decided that it was not food... Sophie needed to join... there ain't no party like a box party!

 
 I am not sure if Sophie enjoyed herself as much as Jakob... since he was the one driving... and he feels that he's *pimpin* in his new ride... watch it... he might pop a cap in your buttinkski...

  I managed to get about 60 pictures taken... and a whole 3 boxes packed with BOTH hands!!! GO ME!!!