I have done a lot of research and reading on parenting, sleeping, eating etc... not just on the internet, I have many books as well... I find that the best way to help your baby sleep, is to follow your instincts... if it doesn't feel right letting your baby cry... DON'T DO IT!!!
I am a co-sleeping supporter... given the right conditions of course... Don't co-sleep with your baby if you and your partner are heavy sleepers, if you have had a few drinks, or you or your partner toss and turn a lot at night or you are taking any sort of drug or medication like anti-depressants or sleep aids... this will cause not only sleep issues in your child, but you run the risk of smothering him or her in your sleep unintentionally. Also another cause for suffocation (and actually one of the most common) is baby getting stuck between headboard and mattress, I blame this on a soft mattress, or the bed is put together wrong etc... soft mattress = bad mojo...
Tips on SAFE co-sleeping (nothing and I mean NOTHING is 100% safe) 1) avoid a lot of pillows, just one for you, and one for your partner, baby does not need one (2) do not take medications or drugs/alcohol before going to bed with your baby, these things inhibit your ability to respond and can desensitize you to where your baby is in the family bed. (3) Stiff mattress only! soft bedding can not only cause baby to suffocate but if you roll over onto him you may only just squish him into the padding rather than feel him right there with you... a hard mattress is a good mattress! (4) avoid co-sleeping with other children, baby gets squished easy and all those extra limbs can prove a danger to baby.
ABOVE ALL ELSE DO RESEARCH ON EVERYTHING BEFORE TRYING IT WITH BABY!
I have a few friends that have done the cry it out method, I even did it with my first born... I didn't want to do it with my first born, I did not feel right allowing her to cry herself to sleep when I was perfectly happy rocking her to sleep every night... but my ex pushed and pushed because its what one of his friends told us to do, he even went as far as sitting on me so that I did not run to my daughter to comfort her... I was heart broken. I find that now she has attachment issues, has a hard time developing relationships with peers and has distrust of most adults in her life.
with my second and third born babies, at about 7-9 months of age I would rock them to sleep and put them in their bed (mattress on the floor) ... they would wake after a few hours of sleep and I would bring them back to bed with me for the remainder of the night.. by the time they were 10 months of age I would rock them to sleep, put them in their beds and they would wake around 5am to come and snuggle with me in the morning... at a year of age I would rock them until they were just falling asleep, put them in their cribs and they would just look at me as I sat by their bed and either rubbed their backs or laid with them until they were entirely asleep.... there was no crying, no heart ache, and no emotional attachment issues whatsoever.
At the moment I have a 7 month old who sleeps with me every night, I put him in his bassinet beside the bed usually for the most part of the night, he will wake to nurse and sometimes I am with it enough to put him back in his bassinet afterwards, but usually its just easier and nicer to bring him to bed with me... he often wakes 2-5 times during the night, this is not because of how we sleep, this is because of his GERD. As his reflux subsides he sleeps longer and heavier... it's taking a lot of time and patience though.
I would like to say that of course anything that works for you and your family is great... I support the choices you make for YOUR family and children... but I do not believe that is the only way, and I expect the same respect and support in turn. That being said, there is now new scientific evidence that provides information on the effects of the CIO method proving how it negatively affects your childs FUTURE (future meaning adulthood, so please keep your *my baby is fine* comments to yourself until your child is 25-30 years of age and shows symptoms of emotional instability) abilities to develop healthy relationships, and healthy attachments. This does not just effect abilities of course, this has a lot to do with brain development... although CIO does not cause brain damage, it actually impedes brain development!!! Certain nerves and cells in the brain grow when a child is nurtured and comforted when they cry... when left to their own with no comfort, no nurturing, these nerves and cells break down and redirect, thus distrust and emotional instability can and more likely will develop.
There are other types of sleep training of course, you don't have to allow your baby to cry and cry until he or she passes out, (they pass out from being emotionally distraught, not tiredness). But please be aware that most *sleep training* requires you to go against your own grains of what feels right and doesn't feel right... you can easily become desensitized to your babies needs, and your baby can become desensitized to everything around him and withdraw. Most sleep training methods only teach you one thing, how to ignore your baby's calls for comfort and help, and they teach your baby one thing, nobody will come when you need comfort or help.
If your current daytime/night time routine is not working for you, it is quite possible that you need to sit down and write out what your bedtime goal is... if you want baby to fall asleep by a certain time, have a routine... for example: Dinner time 7pm, bath time 7:30pm, bed time 8pm... do this every day so it is predictable... baby's love this type of security, they know what happens next and will eventually fall into a better sleep pattern, once baby is comfortable going to sleep at 8pm, start laying him down and staying close at that time he will no doubt be in the routine enough that he will eventually (it could take weeks or a month even) to fall asleep on his own without crying and without you learning to ignore him. he knows this time is bed time, and he has been preparing for it since dinner time!!!
Routine routine routine ladies... and gents. This is ultimately my goal with my youngest, as I had a wonderful routine with my two middle children, I hope to have the same routine with my little man. That being said I hope that his GERD is gone soon so that I can establish a good solid routine with him.
No single approach will work with all babies, all the time... Or with one baby all the time, DON'T persist with a failing sleep program if it is NOT working with you and your baby.
a good read below...
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting
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