The other day my partner asked me what I did all day when it was just me and baby J... nothing. I do nothing. Nothing is a loose term for *everything* but I accomplish very little.
I cant give an accurate description, but a normal day for me doesn't run on a regular 24 hour clock. On a *good* day I clock in at 2am, for Jakobs (my 5 month old) first feeding. we will say at 2:15 he is done eating but I have to sit up in bed with him and hold him just right and rock him back into his deep night time slumber before I put him in his specially elevated (so the reflux doesnt bug him too much) bassinet. I am lucky if I get back to sleep at 2:45 am. Baby J then wakes up at about 3:45, just because, I rock him back to sleep. Between 4:45am and 5:30 am Baby J is up again for a quick snack, then to play a friendly game of chatterbox and scratch off mommies face before he finally drifts back to sleep around 6am... I am lucky if I get to sleep until 7:30-8am. Once we are up I make a cup of coffee, sometimes I get to drink it too... I change J's diaper, and *try* to do a load of laundry, sometimes I get halfway down the hallway before J cries because he cannot see where I am, or he cant get a particular toy to do his bidding. I then have to drop what I am doing and scurry back to his side because if I dont.. he starts screaming and wont stop for a half hour, which happens to be 50% of the time. Anyway... so I sit with nothing to do and nothing to watch on tv (and usually this is when I facebook) so J can see me.
9am I haul J and the laundry down the hall, I finally get the load in the wash and turn it on, byy this point I am beaming proud of my accomplishment.
9:30am J wants something, I dont know what it is, its not boobie, he has already screamed at my chest and scratched me in a fit... he doesnt want to be put down to play with his toys, and apparently I can't hold him just right either. 10am J stops crying, shits his pants and passes out. I carefully lay baby J down, drink whats left of my cold coffee and go to the kitchen to get myself something to eat, I open the fridge and what do I hear? Baby J crying... k well breakfast has to wait.
Jakob has puked... for the umpteenth time all over himself, so I change his diaper, put him in fresh clothing and snuggle up on the couch and nurse him. 11am J is playing happily in his bouncy chair, by this point I am already feeling really drained... I sneak into the kitchen and quickly grab a handful of chips or crackers and a glass of water before J notices I am not right beside him. 11:15 am I have to play with J or he has a melt down, in the back of my head I am thinking "take a real nap so mommy can finish the laundry and do some dishes"... yeah.... right like thats going to happen!!!
12pm, I nurse J again, he seems content, he has a handful of my hair he succeeded in pulling out while nursing, and has only thrown up on himself 4 times in the past hour... I put him down to play on his gym and I switch the laundry over into the dryer, I have won a great battle!!!
12:15pm J is crying, I return to his side only to find he has rolled over onto his tummy but is refusing to let go of the toy still attached to his baby gym which has caused his arm to twist and its pissing him off. To make matters worse he has worked himself up into such a huff about it he has puked all over his play mat and rubbed his face all through it... *sigh* I pick him up, clean his face off, change his diaper, put clean clothes on him and then... he throws up all down my shirt and pants...
12:45pm- I am going insane. 1:15 ive changed my puke covered pajamas and I am now in... wait for it... old crusty puke covered pajamas... apparently I keep forgetting to do my own laundry... great... and now J is puking and crying again... on my bed... I pick him up, snuggle him, nurse him, he is content again for a few minutes... but if I try to put him down he screams as I lower him... okay, one handed then.
1:30pm-2pm I play on facebook... J falls asleep on me, and I dare not move him for fear of waking the grumpy little bear that he is.... I'm exhausted, only 8 more hours until bed time.
2:35pm the kids get home, empty their back packs, and we all talk in hushed voices because J is still napping... 3:50pm the teenager gets home and loudly announces herself into the house and proceeds to say five million things to me at once... that IS possible right??? J is awake now. 3:56 J cries, he needs a diaper change and all the liners are in the dryer (we use cloth diapers but thats another blog).... do I haul the naked baby down the hallway while I grab a liner out of the dryer? or do I leave him on the floor and hope he doesn't pee on the carpet??? ... floor it is then... I race down the hallway and whip the dryer open only to discover the liners are still damp because I forgot to clean out the lint trap... uhg... okay... I think I have an extra one or two in the diaper bag...
Now usually Dan is home from work by this point... but just in case he isnt I will go right up until dinner time.
4:15pm the baby is diapered, dressed and happy to see his siblings... 4:30 I realize I still need to make dinner... uhg.... frozen fries and chicken nuggets it is!!! And here I had plans to be this fabulous at home mom making delicious wholesome meals that would make Martha Stewart jealous...
5pm, cooking one handed because J was not pleased that he could not see what momma was doing in the kitchen... Teenager takes him for a few minutes just so my poor arm can have a rest. only five more hours until bed time... *yawn*
5:30pm dinner is ready... I get everyone served up but J is not where the action is at and is screaming in the living room while looking over at us meanies who dare do something without him... as soon as I get the kids served up I am back to being one handed and picking off the pans to eat while J grabs at the food as it goes into my mouth... keep in mind... by this point I've only had a handful of crackers or chips... I WILL eat the babies hand.
I wont get into the rest of the day/night... I think this is more than enough for those of you who figure I have nothing better to do. and this is only a regular at home day, this does not include the days where I am the taxi driver, and the grocery shopper (I usually have Dan with me on the shopping) and the melt down tamer (teenagers)... sigh.
So... the next time someone says *your a stay at home mom?* in that ridiculing voice... Im about ready to just pop'm one... I gave up my nights out, and dinner for two, to stay at home and take care of four beautiful children, who I hope one day will be independent responsible and emotionally balanced adults. Being a mom isn't just making sure there is food in their bellies and clothes on their backs... you quite literally have the worlds weight on your shoulders... and for me I have the worlds weight x4 !!! WHY would I allow someone else to carry the most important weight I will ever have?
thank you for taking your time to read.
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