There is a reason why I chose to stay at home with the children... In fact I was once a career minded individual, I had school and a more than full time job and my three children who were being raised by their grandmother and their father. I worked anywhere from 8 -20 hours in a day and rarely saw my children, I would be up with them in the morning and see them about 30-45 minutes until they left for school.
When I became pregnant with Jakob, my opinions changed drastically... although I was still working I was working in retail, much slower paced and physically bearable than the night-time janitorial. My partner and I had discussed it and I had planned on going on maternity leave until baby was about 6-8 weeks old and then I was going to go back to work for the *break* shifts (2 hour shifts 3 days a week) just so I had something to do that was outside of the house. Needless to say that is NOT happening... Jakob will not take a bottle and at least half of the time still will not calm down for anyone but the mumma.
My reason for this blog is because I have had a lot of friends ask when is a good time to go back to work after having a baby? Firstly... When YOU AND BABY are ready!!! You might be ready but baby I doubt will be... at least until he is over a year old. It has been proven that babies, raised by one full time parent and one part time parent actually has a better chance of developing long term close relationships later on in life. For example.. if your baby goes to daycare and the daycare staff changes, babysitters change... in and out of your child's life, that actually sets a standard for you're child with all the short term relationships and short term bonds, it actually encourages short term relationships and short term bonds. I am not saying that daycare doesn't have its place or uses... I feel they are very much needed at least for some family's but if your child is in daycare full time 9am-5pm that is your child's life, people and other children in and out constantly. It can be detrimental to your child's ability to build lasting friendships and relationships. I know I know I have heard all the arguments "my child was in daycare full time and turned out fine shes 16" ... no... I am sorry you will not see the actual results until your child is in his or her adulthood... adult meaning 25 years of age or older. Babies that are raised by family members, ie; grandma, grandpa, auntie, uncle, mom and dad have a better chance at developing trust, and strong bonds.
For those who oppose attached parenting first you need to understand what attached parenting is. We all as parents practice some form of attached parenting, you're baby cries, you pick him/her up and comfort them, you carry your teething and upset baby around in an effort to keep him calm because you know it hurts. Attached parenting does not mean you allow your child to get away with everything and coddle your child, in fact its quite the opposite. By responding to your babies cries and other cues you are providing your child with security, he knows that when he hurts, or is sad, or feels alone, mommy or daddy will be there to help him through it and comfort him when he needs it most. Practicing attached parenting to me means my children will grow up to be at least somewhat emotionally stable. Some babies and children are perfectly fine going to bed without being held, pop teeth out without a fuss, and are happy playing on their own, and that is just fine, but you may end up one day with a child that is like no other and requires just that much more.
I often hear parents complaining that if they do the attached parenting they wont be able to go out for a night... or sleep... or do anything really without a baby attached to them... this is only true to a certain degree. Your baby is only a baby once... Your baby is crying because he requires attention from the person who for 10 months held him inside of her womb, listen mommies... your a mommy now... why on earth did you have a baby if you weren't planning on being a full time parent? They are only so needy for such a small amount of time in their entire lives... one day your baby wont need you.
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